An Odd Dream

I had a bizarre dream last night. I dreamed that I was at my computer and Fred came in and told me to stop looking at adoption stuff. He said not to even look at blogs or get on the adoption groups. Then he went on to say that I needed to stay away from anything adoption related, even the families I stay in contact with who have already adopted. I stared at him in disbelief and stuttered, "but i wasn't even looking at adoption stuff". He shook his head and said, "no more adoption stuff for two years. In two years you can start thinking about adopting again".

It was such a weird dream. First of all, Fred would never talk to me that way (being bossy like that) and he also would never tell me not to look at adoption stuff. I wonder if it was my mind trying to tell me to back off the adoption stuff. Or maybe it was my heart trying to protect itself from more heartbreak. I don't know. This is the first time I have ever dreamed about something that would point to us not adopting.